Going the Extra Mile: How to Build Habits That Stick

Jean Chatzky, Founder & CEO of HerMoney Media

I was in weeks two and three of an 18-week marathon training schedule this past July as a record-breaking heatwave hit the East Coast. That meant running five days each week, with long runs topping out at nine miles and mid-week morning slogs hitting six. As the thermometer climbed to 100 in the Philadelphia neighborhood where I live, with a “real feel” of 106, I wasn’t sure I was going to hit all my marks.

But each morning, I did what I pretty much always do. Got up. Turned on the coffee. Took the dog for a piddle. Had a mug of the aforementioned coffee (with a splash of oat milk and a little sweetener). Did my word game. Selected a running playlist of the appropriate length. Double-knotted my shoes — extra tight — and headed out the door.

These are my habits, the things I’ve always done before a run — whether I was training for a race or just trying to get in my steps. Knowing I could count on taking these steps, I am able to get myself out the door.

Studies show it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to make a habit stick. Whether your long-term goal is to save more money or to participate in a marathon, forming lasting habits that take us closer to the finish line is challenging but not impossible.

If you’ve set a bigger goal — and running a long distance, whether it’s a 10K or a marathon, definitely falls into that category — science has shown there are strategies you can use to create the changes you want to see.

Find a fellow goal-getter.

According to new research, when people pursue goals with friends, they are more successful. The study, which Katy Milkman, a behavioral scientist and professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the author of the book, “How To Change,” helped conduct, looked at gym attendance. It found those who worked out with a friend went to the gym 35% more than those who didn’t. “The accountability to another person — and the fun that came with it — resulted in success,” explains Milkman. In my own practice I’ve found that to be the case, which is why I’ve always tried to have a running partner. In fact, in my move to a new city, the loss of two long-time running partners is one of the things I miss the most.

Accountability can come in the form of a professional as well. For example, if you’re working toward a big money goal, like saving for retirement, a financial advisor can help make sure you’re hitting your benchmarks. Or, if you don’t have a friend to train with (or want someone who is more adept at helping you improve), a coach can keep you on track.

Flex your willpower muscle frequently.

The more we exercise a muscle, the stronger it gets. The same goes for willpower. Experts say one of the best ways to exercise willpower is by using “commitment devices,” where you put something on the line attached to a habit or goal. “We find [commitment devices] are really good for sustaining habits,” notes Milkman. For me, one that works is a particularly good cold brew from a local coffee bar. I don’t allow myself to buy one except when I’ve finished a long run. Knowing I’m going to get one if I do finish can get me out the door on days when I feel particularly sluggish

Learn to be resilient.

Life is full of setbacks. It’s how we react to them — or in other words, how resilient we are — that makes all the difference. Whether you suffer an injury that causes your training to go off track, or perhaps you get hit with a surprise bill that deters your savings goals, there are ways to become more resilient and safeguard against setbacks.

Milkman says one of the keys to upping your resilience is guarding against what she calls the “what-the-hell effect.” This is what happens when you get off track — for example, you miss a workout or don’t make a regular deposit into your emergency fund — and that causes you to throw in the towel altogether.

To sidestep this issue, Milkman suggests giving yourself a set number of “get out of jail free cards” that allow you to deviate, a certain number of times, from the work you’re doing toward your goal. “Emergency slack, when setting ambitious goals, helps us think about setbacks as acceptable moments so that we can continue with our goals,” she explains.

Lean into habit loops.

A “habit loop” is a sequence of behaviors that make up a habit. A concept coined by Charles Duhigg in his book The Power of Habit, habit loops are made up of three components: cue, routine, and reward. For example, you come home after a long, stressful day at work (cue). You go for a run (routine). When you’re done, you feel relaxed (possibly even euphoric) and accomplished, i.e., the reward.

My habit loop starts with the dog, then coffee at home, a run and then ends with the cold brew at the end of my route.  Sensing a theme there? Making the habit loop stick has to do with “cravings,” or in other words, building a strong desire for the reward. “Habits are created by putting together a cue, a routine, and a reward, and then cultivating a craving that drives the loop,” writes Duhigg.

Try habit stacking.

The more enjoyable you can make an activity, the more likely it is that you’ll make it a habit. “If you train by grinding it out with really tough workouts because it’s most efficient and you’ll get to your goal faster, that’s a mistake,” Milkman says. “Instead, do it with a friend or listen to an audiobook.”

The practice is known as habit stacking — taking something you enjoy and stacking it with something that not as pleasurable. It can work if you’re trying to strengthen your financial outlook. For example, if you want to have regular discussions about money with your spouse, pair those talks with activities that will make the task enjoyable, like a nice bottle of wine or a spread of special snacks

It’s all about the details.

When it comes to building habits and achieving your goals, Milkman says having a plan that includes specific steps for doing so is the most important factor. “Scheduling all of those details is hugely predictive of success,” she notes.

Habits play an important role in shaping our lives, whether they help us complete a marathon or achieve a big financial goal. From leaning on others who will hold you accountable, to using hacks like habit loops, we can make lasting changes in our lives that take us closer to our goals and help us cross the finish line stronger.